


Missing You

by ClockworkDinosaur (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Fluff, M/M, Mental Illnesses, Sad Fluff, dirkjohn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9475634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ClockworkDinosaur
Summary: For the past month, John Egbert hadn't been seen outside of his home.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guess who's fallen into DirkJohn hell? What can I say, I love these depression boyfriends. Any feedback on this would be much appreciated, I'm not used to writing these two and I'm going to be doing more DirkJohn in the future so critique would be great!!

For the past month, John Egbert hadn't been seen outside of his home. No contact online, no sightings. His house stood dark and quiet. Dirk understood better than anyone perhaps, but that didn't stop him from walking up John's driveway and knocking on the door. Where John needed isolation, Dirk needed reassurance, as much as he hated to admit it.

A minute of nothingness passed and Dirk almost knocked again, just as the door opened. Dull surprise registered in John's eyes before his face went blank.

Frankly, John looked terrible. His black hair had grown out and hung in limp strands over his forehead and down his neck. The bags under his eyes were deep and dark and made the deep blue color pop in a way that would have sent Dirk's heart throbbing if it weren't for their emptiness. His demeanor was tired as he stepped aside and let Dirk in.

“Hey, Dirk,” John said, his chipper voice jarring considering his haggard appearance. He offered a wan smile as he sat on the couch. Dirk joined him, shoulders stiff.

“It's been a while, man. What gives?” Dirk asked. He hated how desolate his voice sounded, how needy his words were.

“It's been like... a few days, right?” John muttered, rubbing the scruff on his jaw.

“A few days plus a month,” Dirk said, strained. John's eyes went wide.

“Oh shit, I'm sorry!” he said. “Time got away from me, y'know? I've just been...” He trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Are you doing okay?” Dirk asked. Concern far outweighed any regret he might have felt for coming over unannounced.

“Yeah, I'm good,” John said too quickly. “Hey, did you see that one commercial with Roxy in it? That was cool.”

Dirk blinked. “Wow, what a subtle and natural conversational shift.”

“Well, what else is there to talk about?” John said, deliberately not looking at Dirk.

“How about the fact that nobody's seen you in over a month? Or the fact you never reply to anyone on Pesterchum or Snapchat anymore? How about the fact that I fucking miss you and part of me was terrified I'd come over and you wouldn't even be here?”

The words were out before Dirk could bite them back. They hung between them, heavy and cold. John looked at Dirk with wide eyes, the emotions he had been pushing back threatening to spill over.

“I-I wouldn't just leave without warning. I swear,” John said quietly.

“You kind of did, John. People were worried. People _are_ worried. 'S what happens when one of the creators of the universe doesn't show his face for a while.”

Something shifted in John's face and he stood, arms crossed over his wide chest as he began walking in circles. “Well, maybe people need to stop worrying! I'm fine, time gets away from me sometimes but that is not a reason to send a search party after me.”

Dirk swallowed thickly, watching John pace. “Nobody sent me, bro. Nobody had to send me. Everyone else was content to give you space and maybe you need it and I'm being an overbearing prick just for showin' up.”

Stopping, John looked at Dirk. Dirk went on.

“Look, we're dating, right?” he asked as his leg bounced, the only sign of the nerves that warred inside of him as surprise crossed John's face.

John nodded as he sat back down next to Dirk. “Yeah, of course.”

“I know I have my issues. And you have your own and sometimes you need space... but I need to know that you aren't just straight up avoiding me. You disappear for a month and I assume you're done.”

It felt raw for Dirk to speak so plainly about how he was feeling and his shoulders hunched involuntarily. His words felt unnatural and stiff, but John was listening intently, a frown pulling at the edges of his lips.

“I'm sorry, Dirk. I really didn't think...”

Dirk shook his head quickly. “I'm not blaming you at all. I just miss you a lot, okay? It's been... too quiet.”

John sat back on the couch, face tilted towards the ceiling with is eyes closed. “I missed you too.” Dirk had to strain to hear him despite being right next to him.

“I've been... I dunno. I'm tired. I want to check messages and shit but I just don't. Not out of spite or anything, just...” He trailed off with a sigh. “It's just a lot sometimes.”

Dirk nodded. “I understand, I really do. If you want me to go now-”

“No,” John said quickly. “Stay. I didn't really realize how dull it's been around here, y'know?”

Dirk nodded, scooting closer and putting his head on John's shoulder. John wrapped his arm around Dirk's narrower shoulders and pulled him closer.

“So have you been okay?” John asked. Dirk could feel the reverberations of John's voice through his chest and relaxed into him until his head was in John's lap.

“Missed you a whole fucking lot,” he said quietly.

John felt heat rise up his neck as Dirk made himself comfortable, his absolutely ridiculous shades becoming skewed on his face. His weight and warmth was comforting, and he put his hand on Dirk's back, feeling the skin and muscles underneath his worn t-shirt. Dirk was there, real and solid and _there_ , and John felt the loneliness he hadn't realize had been building up in his chest lighten.

“I missed you too.”

 


End file.
